Crossing Over
by Isabelle Montgomery
Summary: Ever stumble upon an enchanted land where the little mean pixies only speak in Shakespeare-ese, and you and your boyfriend switch bodies? Well, if not here's a cute little play for you... please R/R!


(background: a forest setting fly in the back with wither cardboard or particle board trees in the foreground. There is a couple walking out on stage from Up Right and crossing to Down Left. So our scene is set)

Nate: Hey Sara, wanna try somethin' dangerous?

Sara: Like what? Whatever it is I don't think we should do it. 

Nate: oh, come one, live a little. Let's go off the path. :: His arms encircling Sara::

Sara: I don't think we should, we could get lost.

Nate: I've got a map, we can't get lost. Lets go off the beaten path, make our own way through this wilderness! ::As he says this he gradually gets louder, Sara has to shush him to be quiet::

Sara: All right! Okay, let's walk off the beaten path.

::They go behind trees weaving in and out to simulate walking a long way in the woods, the lights dim quickly to simulate sunset. The couple begins talking at Up Left as they cross to Down Center.::

Sara: Where are we?

Nate: Um, I-I don't know, We're no where on the map. 

Sara: ::getting scared:: Are you saying that we're lost?

Nate: Oh, no, but we, ah, um, oh damn it, we are lost.

Sara: Nate! What are we going to do?

Nate: ::totally unpreturbed:: Um, I dunno, sleep? 

Sara: Sleep?! Where in the lovely king size beds in the trees?

Nate: No, on the ground.

Sara: I can't sleep on the ground! 

Nate: What else is there to do Sara?

Sara: um, turn back? 

Nate: it's too dark, we have to wait until morning. Come on Sar-Bear Live a little. ::Nate gives her a little hug of encouragement.::

Sara: Fine! 

::They lie down on the ground. Two pixies come out from stage left and creep, giggling over to the sleeping couple, who move in their sleep.:: 

Pixie 1: Shh! They are asleep!

Pixie 2: ::giggling:: for faith they should not have ventured so far off the path.

Pixie 1: Rather for shame that we do not punish them eh? ::elbows Pixie 2 and giggles::

Pixie 2: How true and sad that they must not suffer the wonderful punishment of coming into our land! ::kneels next to sleeping couple:: Oh, how sweet that look in their sleep, their venture into the forgotten depths of dreams. I say we keep them there but in waking reality! 

Pixie 1: Nay, for that would be cruel if one should suffer from a nasty nightmare, yet delicious in the thought of it! 

Pixie 2: ::looks up disgruntled:: What other punishment shall we place on them for coming hither?

Pixie 1: ::crosses to opposite side of couple and kneels:: We shall place a spell over them, for they seem willing enough folk.

Pixie 2: Nay, 'tis over used in this day. Why not change their face?

Pixie 1: Change their face?

Pixie 2: Aye, body as well, for one man and one woman they be will most certainly be punished by the other's body!

Pixie 1: ::Still not understanding:: You mean to place their minds into one another's body?

Pixie 2: :: nodding infatically and giggling::

Pixie 1: ::claps hands together:: Marvelous! How wonderful that such a perfect punishment for perfect lovers should befall them in our land! Splendid!

::Pixie 1 and 2 stand above the sleeping couple and sprinkle sparkling dust on the heads of the sleepers::

Pixie 1 & 2 in unison: Lovers that sleep with legs entwined 

Shall move essence and move time,

Into each other do thy essence flow

To wake upon the dawn with more than you know. 

::They giggle and depart Stage left, skipping

The couple awaken::

Sara: ::groans as he sits up:: My back! It's killing me! Stupid ground

Nate: ::also groans:: That sucked. ::she rubs her neck and looks around. Sara is staring at him:: What? Na-t-e? ::Croaks out the last word, realizing 'she' is looking at 'her'self. Both stand up very quickly:: 

Sara: N-Nate? ::'he' puts a hand on 'her' shoulder::

Nate: uh, yeah Sara? ::both say their names really slowly::

Sara: Am I really a man?:: on the brink of hysteria::

Nate: Am I really a woman? :: looks down and smiles wide::

Nate: Yep, I got boobs! Cool! :: goes to touch one but his hand is smacked away by Sara.::

Sara: Nate this isn't funny! This has to be a dream!

Nate: One that you and I are BOTH having? Doubt it ::he goes to try and touch one of 'his' breasts again. he's hit on the hand again by Sara::

Sara: Why are you taking this so well? ::Nate shrugs::

Sara: If you're me and I'm you then.... Nate! I'm scared! :: goes all teary eyed like a woman::

Nate: It's okay Sara. 

Sara: No, you don't understand! If you have boobs then I have a.....:: Nate looks at her incredulously and looks down at 'himself' below the waist:: And I really gotta pee. 

::Nate laughs and Sara looks really upset.:: 

Nate: well you are a man now-

Sara: Don't say that! I don't want to be a man!

Nate: Anyway, you can go behind a tree and do your duty, look over there is a good place. ::points offstage:: 

Sara: But... ::looks scared::

Nate: It won't bite, I promise.

Sara heads offstage, Nate starts looking around his new body and snickering as he does so::

Sara (offstage yelling): DO NOT TOUCH MY BOOBS!!! OWWWW!!!

Nate: looks like she found the zipper.

::Sara comes back onstage with a pained look on her face::

Sara: That really hurt.

Nate: What are you mad at me about? I didn't zip myself.

Sara: That's right 'cause you got nothin' to zip!

Nate ::confused:: Now girl, or then boy?

Sara: ::evil grin:: Both.

Nate: nuh uh. Ow! ::he grabs 'her' abdomen and looks at Sara with pain::

Sara: Oh yeah I almost forgot. 

Nate: No way! This is not happening! I am not about to have a period!! I have to be dreaming! OW!

Sara: ::laughs:: don't worry bucko, that's still two days away. I always have cramps about three days before the actual period part. 

Nate: No fair. You get all the good stuff! 

Sara: Ya know, a moment ago I would have disagreed, but now I feel as though I have the better end of the deal.

Nate: We HAVE to get back into our own bodies! How the hell did this happen?

Sara: I don't know, I was sleeping and when I woke up, BAM I was in this body.

Nate: Same here. But did you hear singing in your sleep?

Sara: Yeah, why?

Nate: I think that might have something to do with it.

Sara: well I don't know. All I want to do, if we can't get our bodies back, is go home. 

Nate: No! I can't let the guys see me like this!

Sara: You and the guys, sheesh, you'd think women were more obsessed over their images. Oh wait..::she laughs:: Now you are a woman!

Nate: This is no laughing matter. Ow! See!:: he points to his abdomen:: I have to get out of this body!

Sara: Excuse me? I think you deserve to stay in my body for a few days. You deserve the pain for being so stupid to make me come out this way off the path!

Nate: ::screeching:: Don't call me stupid!

Sara: Whoa, okay, Ms. PMS

Nate: So this is what PMS is huh? I feel like a want to cry and beat the crap out of you at the same time. 

::Sara shrugs and looks around trees. There are shadows constantly moving in the background. The pixies jump from one tree trunk to the next, hiding behind them. Every now and then giving out a loud giggle.

Nate: Um, Sara?

Sara: Yeah?

Nate: Did you hear that?

Sara: ::returning to Nate.:: hear what? 

Nate: man, you really do have good hearing, I'll have to remember that in the future. 

Sara: Hear what? 

Nate: Oh, a noise in the woods.

Sara: Um, okay, it's a forest, there are going to be sounds.

Nate: No! I mean a sound like a laugh or a giggle. 

::The pixies shift and giggle again.::

Nate: Like that!

Sara: I hear it, what do you think it is?

Nate: ::yelling:: IS ANYONE OUT THERE!? IF YOU ARE YOU BETTER GET OUT HERE BEFORE I COME IN AND GET YOU!!!!

Sara: As usual, brawn before brains. Like that'll help us Nate.

::The pixies laugh out loud, the scene before them becoming very hilarious. Nate whirls around to the sound and runs to the sound Up Right, and Sara follows. They come back to center stage, Sara has a Pixie in each arm. And Nate is trying to keep them from running away.::

Pixie 1: Unhand us! 

Pixie 2: Yes, release us this instant! 

Sara: Not a chance. What are you?

Pixie 2: We will not-

Pixie 1: Magical Pixies!! ::stops struggling and smiles really wide. Not very bright.::

Nate: you have something to do with us being this way, don't you?

Pixie 2: What do you mean?

Pixie 1: I know! We cast a spel-

Pixie 2: For faith we did no such thing.

Pixie 1: Aye we did! Does thou not remember? Do thy essence-

Pixie 2: ::giving the second pixie the evil eye:: Pray, forgive my friend and cousin, for her mind be heavy with drink, with spirit that does not seem contain her imagination.

Pixie 1: Mab be damned I took no such spirits! Why must thou be so cruel to thine own cousin? 

Pixie 2: ::Exasperated:: Has thou forgotten thy sacred rule? When mortals be hither in our land none that be said behind nor forth shall be uttered when in their proximity. And that any mortal when in this land must be punished for walking on sacred paths with spells of old and new never to be known in the minds of aforementioned or else all enchantment will be lost. Whilst thou finally concede that thy rule is broken?

Pixie 1: I shall concede as soon as the words from your mouth reach the ears of 'aforementioned' mortals. ::she jerks her head in the direction of the mortal holding them:: 

Pixie 2: For shame I have broken the rule as well. 

::All falls silent as Sara and Nate digest this information::

Nate: So, you two are Pixies? ::They nod::

Nate: Sara?

Sara: Yeah?

Nate: Did you catch any of that?

Sara: Oh sure. TO sum it all up, they cast a spell on us for entering into their land, and it will be broken as soon as we both realize it was a spell cast by two pixies who just told us their sacred rules and where their sacred paths are. 

Nate: Ohhhhh!, how'd you catch all that?

Sara: Reading Shakespeare does have its advantages. As for you two. First, are you certain it will wear off?

Pixie 1: Yes, but you must be holding hands to reverse thy essence. 

Sara: Thanks! And now I'd say run before we get our bodies back, because you're going to have two very pissed off humans, and one very hormonal female on your tail. ::The pixies screech with fright as Sara lets them go.::

Nate: OH! I get it now! Okay! We were switched by two pixies!

Sara: ::grabbing his hand:: Duh!

::There is a flash and both fall apart, and sit up very quickly::

Nate: did it work?

Sara: Yep! I got boobies!!!

Nate: Damn, and I was so hoping on getting some alone time.

Sara: ::crawls over to his side to whack him on the shoulder::

Nate: well I'm all in one.. OW! ::He crosses his arms over his private area.:: What'd you do? 

Sara: Hey, you expect me, a girl, thank God, to know how to use that thing?

::Nate shrugs::

Sara: ::stands:: on that note I think we should definitely leave this place. 

Nate: Um, which way d we go then?

Sara: um, I don't know. Oh, wait a minute I know who we can ask. PIXIES!!

::The pixies that ran away earlier come stomping forth as if drawn by some invisible force::

Nate: How'd you know that they were there?

Sara: Rule of any magical creature, they never go away until you've gone home. You two, you cruel beasts of the thicket.

Nate: what?

Sara: It's okay Nate, I'm just going to talk to them so they'll understand, plus it sounds really cool.

Sara: Thy rules have been broken, thy promise has not been kept, lead us from this place of grief and curse, ye wretched witches of this wretched land. 

::the pixies look terrible and one starts to cry::

Pixie 2: But ye came upon our land, 'twas only our duty to punish you.

Sara: As it be, we are sorry, but our tenderness will only last a few more instances before our anger is pushed forth. So, please, Pixies, proceed. 

::The pixies stomp angrily stage right while Nate and Sara follow::

Nate: That was awesome! I totally didn't understand a word you said! 

Sara: I know, I'm good. Oh, and uh, Nate, try not to get so excited by everything I do. I was in your body ya know. ::Nate looks at her incredulously::

Nate: Not fair!

Sara: Isn't this where a narrator comes on and says "And they lived happily ever after"?

::Nate shrugs and they exit off::

The end.


End file.
